“Nothing that happens in Nigeria can surprise me anymore”.
If that’s what you think, just wait till you wake up tomorrow. At this point Nigerians, especially our leaders, are the undisputed, uncontested champions for coming up with the most ridiculous stories for how or why things happen in the country.
From monkeys in snake’s shadows to budgets vanishing mysteriously, here are some of the most outrageous stories of things going missing or stolen in Nigeria:
STOLEN MACE BY CHUBA OKADIGBO – circa 2000
Turns out Wednesday’s drama wasn’t the Mace’s first time of being taken from the Senate chambers. At the turn of the millennium, when Nigeria’s current run with democracy was just starting, the then-Senate President, Chuba Okadigbo made away with the Mace to his village in Ogbunike.
According to the late senator, it was a move to prevent forces led by the then president, Olusegun Obasanjo, from kicking him out of office. Eventually, the Mace was returned and he was impeached. Okadigbo died three years later.
NIGERIA’S SATELLITE DISAPPEARS FROM SPACE – 12, NOV. 2008
On Nov. 12 2008, Nigerians woke up to the news that the 40 billion naira satellite which the country had sent into orbit 18 months earlier had ‘gone missing form space’.
After much confusion, it was announced that the satellite had run into a technical hitch when it was discovered that it was using a technological standard that was not meant for Africa but Asia.
Later, it was revealed that it was not actually missing but that the battery had died and which had caused the satellite to ‘park’ .
NIGERIA’S BUDGET GOES MISSING- 12 JAN. 2016
Hundreds of copies of Nigeria’s 2016 budget went missing a few weeks into the year. No form of explanation was given.
After two weeks of bickering in the Senate over the whereabouts of the documents, what felt like very much like a cover-up story emerged from the Presidency.
THUGS STEAL MACE – APRIL 18, 2018
Delta Central senatorial district’s man in the Senate, Ovie Omo-Agege was in the middle of what an Omo Agege would be expected to do when the Mace was forcefully taken from the Senate chambers on Wednesday, April 18.
While Omo-Agege denied involvement in the Mace’s ‘kidnapping’, Deputy Senate President, Ike Ekweremadu gave the DSS, police and other security agencies 24 hours to recover the Mace.
SNAKE SWALLOWS N36M – FEB 10, 2018
2018 has been a classic year for Nigerian jokes and this one from February left everyone in stitches. A JAMB clerk in Makurdi, Benue State caved in to the pressure from scrutiny and stated that N36 million kept in a vault from sales of scratch cards was swallowed by a snake.
A bundle of N1,000 notes makes for N100,000, therefore, this snake settled down in the JAMB office in question and swallowed 360 bundles of naira notes before belching satisfactorily in the glory of a hunger quenched.
While the clerk, Philomina Chieshe, later denied she said a snake swallowed the money but JAMB spokesperson, Fabian Benjamin, stated to CNN that Chieshe confessed to a snake doing the deed.
“(Chieshe) confessed that she had the money, kept it in a vault in the office but a snake came and swallowed the money,” said Benjamin.
MONKEY FOLLOWS DAYS LATER – FEB 21, 2018
Barely a week after the snake swallowed N36 million, a senator, Abdullahi Adamu, was accused of mismanaging N70 million handed to the Northern Senators Forum; with monkeys alleged to have swallowed the money at the senator’s farm.
One moment please… actually, no. I’m dead here!